Monday, June 14, 2010

A Conversation with a Changed Man

I just had the most awesome talk with one of the guys at work who just returned from a mission trip to Guatemala with his 13 year old son.  God totally rocked his world last week and it was so cool to hear him share just a few of the things he saw and experienced and learned while serving the Guatemalan people.  He was already a really strong believer - a leader in so many ways, both in his church and in the business world.  But life has changed for him. 

He spoke about our need to surrender.  Every day, every moment.  Surrender everything.  What a difference that would make in our daily life if we could just do that!  It sounds simple, but isn't it one of the hardest acts a human can contemplate?  To willingly relinquish control of anything is difficult.  But to give over and yield your very being?  Wow.  Even when I think I'm doing that in regard to something, in reality I'm not.  Like when I think I surrender my worry about finances.  I think I give it to God and lay it at the foot of the cross... only to turn around and pick it up 2 seconds later so I can fret about it even more.  Or when I pray about something, but instead of relying on God and trusting Him to reveal His plan in His time, I decide to help Him out.  "You know what, God?  I've got this. Don't worry about that prayer I just said - scratch all that.  I can handle this on my own.  No need to bug You with it!"  What I really mean is that I don't trust Him.  I don't put my faith in Him to get me through.  I don't want to surrender anything to His control.  I want to keep it clutched in my grubbly little fist.  Surrender.  The word has such bad connotations!  A defeated enemy.  A blood-stained battleground.  How do we reconcile that to the beautiful picture that God intended?  To just putting all our problems and cares into His ever-so-capable hands, like a child giving his dad a broken toy, knowing that all will soon be made right.  Surrender.  So much to think about, caught up in that one word. 

He also talked about joy.  When did we lose our joy and become anxious beings?  When did things like money and security take over our thought life?  Like he said, it's a gradual process.  You never even realize that your thoughts are turning more and more toward the mundane and less and less toward the sacred.  When did I cease to find joy in the simple things?  When did I cease to be joyful and grateful to my Creator and to express that joy and gratitude to Him on a regular basis?  How did I let that happen?  I've heard that there's a difference between happiness and joy.  One is based on our circumstances; the other, based on something inside us.  Something that isn't affected by our situation at all.  Shouldn't our joy spring from the knowledge that our God is sovreign and is in control of the universe?  Shouldn't it come from an unwavering reliance on Him in each and every moment of our life?  When did I lose my joy?  When did I let it become tainted by everyday nuisances?  When did I start to focus more on the trivialities and inconsequential things in my life and less on communing with my Lord and Savior?  Joy.  So much to think about in that one word, too.

Greg talks a lot about worship.  About worshipping in spite of what's going on in life.  In spite of the problems, the nuisances of daily life.  Isn't one aspect of worship being totally surrendered to God?  Could surrender be considered the ultimate act of worship?  And couldn't joy be considered a byproduct of that act?  We surrender our hearts and our souls and our minds to God, yielding to His control, thus accepting the peace of His joy in our life.  Unfathomable joy.  Like His peace that passes understanding, His joy likewise is totally beyond comprehension.  Wow. 

Lord, I acknowledge you as Creator of the Universe and acknowledge my smallness in relation to You.  Who am I that You are mindful of me?  Who am I that You died for me?  I give You this moment of worship and praise.  Give You the adoration that is due You and You alone.  Thank You for what you did last week in Guatemala.  Thank You for what you did in my friend's heart.  And thank You for letting me hear about a portion of it.  I wasn't on the mission field last week with K and his son. I didn't stay in a squallid little hut or pray with people as they heard about Christ for the first time and accepted Him as their Savior.  But my life has been touched by his experiences.  My outlook has been changed now; my perspective, realigned.  All from one ten minute conversation with a co-worker. 

So now I know what I need to do today... surrender it all.  Easy?  No.  Scary?  Yes.  Necessary?  Absolutely.  Will I succeed in surrendering my Monday to God?  Maybe; maybe not.  But I will succeed in surrendering this moment to Him.  And this one, and the next.  And at the end of the day, my prayer is that there will have been more moments surrendered than not.  More moments spent resting in His joy than not.  More moments focusing on Him.  For that's really what it's all about, isn't it?  Our focus in life.  So, Lord, change my focus today.  Show me the things that I'm clinging to too tightly.  Help me to realize what I'm clutching in my grubby little fist.  Help me to let everything go and to rest in the joy of surrendering to You. In Jesus' name.  Amen.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Can I climb up in your lap?

Seems like it's been forever since I've blogged!  But today, the boys are still napping and Anna is happily occupied, alternately between dancing around the room singing and sitting at my feet, playing with random toys.  This morning at church, Kenny sang a song by MercyMe called "Keep Singing".  If you're not familiar with it, it's a short little song about how during the midst of all our pain and suffering, when we wonder how we'll ever make it through, we've got to (yep, you guessed it!) keep singing.  There's a part in the middle that talks about climbing up in God's lap:  "Can I climb up in Your lap?  Hold me, Lord; rock me, Lord... I don't want to leave."  Kenny talked about how anyone who's ever been a parent knows how it touches your heart to have your kids climb up in your lap for a cuddle.  Well, that got me to thinking...  and to crying...  because that morning I'd been so busy trying to get the kids ready and out the door for church (still didn't make it on time!) and busy fighting with Noah aobut silly things, that when Anna Grace came over and wanted me to pick her up, I was irritated.  Yes, irritated.  It makes me feel guilty all over again as I'm typing that!  I didn't want to slow down and take the few minutes to see what she wanted or needed or even just to savor the experience of holding my daughter close for a second or two during the hustle and bustle.  I should be relishing those precious moments and not taking them for granted.  What does it matter if Noah wants to wear his batman pajamas?  I mean, does it really matter, in the grand scheme of things? 

So as I'm typing this, here comes Anna Grace, wanting up in my lap again...  think I'm going to even hesitate to cut this short and cuddle with my precious daughter!  Nope!  :)