Simplify? Unplug? Disconnect?

Greg spent some time during the last week out in Mississippi.  His trip had several purposes and several outcomes as well.  One of the purposes was helping his mom do some projects around the house (which went well - no arguing, thank the Lord!).  But he also got to spend a lot of time with our friends the Brandons on their farm.  Talk about a breath of fresh air, both physically and spiritually!  His time with them has seemed to energize him on so many levels.  He has returned home determined to make some changes - some much needed changes - in the way we do things as a family.  I'm excited about the changes and about the conversations we've had since he's returned.  Lots of talking about simplifying our life, focusing on what truly matters and letting the rest go.  Such a concept!  So... well, so SIMPLE.  And yet the execution of it can be so terrifyingly hard.  We rely so much on technology, mostly on our computers and on being "connected".  A good thing in many ways, but how much connection is too much? 

Most of the time I am all for getting rid of the satellite or cable or whatever.  Let's face it:  we watch basically one show a week - The Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights.  The rest of the time, if the TV's on at all, it's on kid's shows that we have recorded.  Since I've ben on my diet, we haven't even watched Food Network.  We tell ourselves, though, that we NEED the TV.  We tell ourselves that we're going to start watching conferences on God TV, or tuning into the Prayer Room's Live Feed on there.  We tell ourselves that we need it in case there is bad weather, or a national crisis of some sort, or in case we want to watch football during the fall, or .....  whatever.  But all of that we can get on our computers, so why keep the TV?  A sense of security?  Who knows.  

And you know, even the kid's shows that we watch have gotten worse.  At first we thought we were being so careful about what Noah watched.  But even being careful, does he really need to watch those things?  We've told my parents, "Just because it's a cartoon does NOT mean it's acceptable!" and have tried to make sure that what he sees there is in line with what we want.  But you never know these days.  We saw a commercial for a Showtime series about lesbians on the the Food Network - yet another reason not to watch that channel any more!  For a while, we kept him on the Disney channel shows - and then, only in the mornings when it was for littler kids.  But then he went through his Star Wars phase, so we recorded some of the new Clone Wars on the Cartoon Network.  We quickly realized the difference:  Disney doesn't have commericals, while CN has a gazillion commercials during the one half hour show.  So then of course he was asking to watch other shows or wanting to go buy the toys advertised.  He still only does a handful of shows, though (Imagination Movers and Backyardigans mostly, but the occasional Max & Ruby or Clone Wars or Wiggles, too).  But when he actually knows the individual episodes of the shows by name when we call them out from the DVR list, how can that be a good thing? 

And what about the video games?  We knew we didn't want Noah to follow our bad habits but of course he is to a large degree.  We both love video games, so now Noah does to.  We tell ourselves that at least he's interacting, and at least some of the Wii games are physically active, but we're just rationalizing, aren't we?  We console ourselves with the fact that he still loves to play outside and prefers that to all other activities... for now.  But how long before our "couch potato" tendencies kill that as well?  So we're trying to make conscious efforts to turn off the video games and the TV and to be outside a lot more, whether it's playing, working in the yard, or just being outside.  But it is very hard, especially for me.  Because a lot of the time when I'm on the computer, I'm working.  The same with Greg, too.  So it makes life a lot easier for me if Noah is playing one of his video games because then I can work and still talk to him and interact with him and Anna.  And I feel hypocritical telling him that he needs to turn off the game when I'm still sitting behind the computer screen.  Mainly because he doesn't know the difference between "Mommy working" and "Mommy playing on facebook" - it all looks the same from the other side of the laptop.

But I have totally digressed...  one of the things Greg mentioned when he got back from Mississippi was that he hated our bedroom.  At first, I was a little offended!  I had worked really really hard while he was gone, putting away the stacks of clean clothes that I seem to accumulate on any flat surface, cleaning off all the clutter we had piled in there, taking the bins of winter clothes and the box of books that sat in the corner for the entire two years we've lived here out of the room and out to the back porch so that they can go to the barn.  I had tried really hard to make our bedroom more of a sanctuary and a relaxing place and not just a junk room that happened to house our bed.  So his comment really irked me at first!  Until he finished the thought... "I hate our bedroom because there are no windows in there!"  At first we thought that was a good thing.  After all, it's much easier to take a nap when the room is dark. But he had been used to waking up much earlier on the farm, with all the beautiful early morning sunshine streaming into the room and with the crowing of the roosters!  So he's been trying to get up early and go outside to spend some time with the Lord before he starts his day.  Those of you who know him, know that this is a HUGE change from our normal routine.  Before last week, he would usually sleep in (usually because he didn't sleep well the night before) and then once he got up, he would have to have at least an hour to slooooowly wake up, get a shower, drink some caffeine, check his emails, check out foxnews.com...  after his hour, then and only then could I start talking to him and asking questions (because I'm a morning person and hit the ground asking questions and talking a mile a minute!).  So I'm really excited about this change.  I'll still give him his hour to wake up, but it's made easier knowing that he's talking to the Father, know what I mean?

So just a few days on the farm reset his thinking in a sense.  Made him want to simplify our lives.  He's wanting to take us all out to Mississippi for a vacation - I can't wait!!  Let's go NOW!  I want to recharge my spirit like Greg has.  I want to relax in the early morning sunlight on the porch with nothing more pressing than whether or not to take a walk down by the pond before breakfast.  As an aside to all this, we've also been looking at moving somewhere cheaper than our current house.  We're trying to find something that would make it easier to make ends meet and - novel concept! - enable us to actually save some money or perhaps even bless others for a change.  At first, we were looking closer to Lafayette, since that would be closer to my folks and closer to free babysitting.  But now we're just looking.  So we're sitting at dinner last night and talking about some rental houses Greg saw advertised, when he throws out, "Eunice's house is for rent..."  OK, I'll bite:  "Who's Eunice?"  Turns out, that's a little house that's next to the farm.  In Mississippi.  Not exactly a workable commute!  Or is it?  How much money could we save?  How much would our lifestyle change automatically, just by living close to the farm?  Greg said that if we lived out there, I wouldn't have to work.  I don't know if that's true or not, but the idea was oh so appealing!  But you know, really, it doesn't matter where we live - I work via email and across the internet connection with an occasional fedex package delivered to my door.  That can happen anywhere - Mississippi or an island in the Pacific or a snow covered igloo in the arctic tundra (well, anywhere that has an internet connection anyway). 

But before any of our friends from Hope start freaking out, thinking we're relocating to Pontotoc, rest assured.  As tempting as the idea may be, we both know that God put us at Hope Fellowship and that's where we'll be until He sends us somewhere else.  And though the idea is tempting, it's not the ideal solution either.  So the question becomes, can we incorporate the ideals and lifestyle and ways of living on a farm here in our house in Chickamauga?  Absolutely!  Well, maybe not all of them.  I don't foresee us getting goats and chickens in the near future - don't think our landlady would approve!  But living a simpler, less plugged in life?  Paring out some of the bad habits we've allowed to creep in?  Focusing on the things that should be a priority?  Living outside more?  Turning off the technology for a while and doing more with the kids?  How simple.  And how totally radical. 

I'll let you know how our journey to simplify our life goes.  It won't be easy at times.  Like right now... we had planned to take the kids to daycare so we could get some errands run and get the house in order, etc.  But Noah doesn't want to go.  He's playing his video game and crying and saying he wants to stay with us.  But the reality is that he doesn't want to stop playing his game...  so while I've been blogging about all this, I should have been outside with my son.  *Sigh*  Some lessons are going to take a while to learn, I suppose. 

It's finally Friday

For some reason, this has been an extremely tough week for me.  Don't really know why, and to be honest, not really sure what exactly I'm meaning by "extremely tough".  I just know that I feel tired.  Not just physically tired, but mentally and emotionally, too.  Again, I'm not sure why.  I mean, I'm sleeping at night and all that, but I have been waking up around 4:00 and just laying here for a while, worrying.  How silly is that??  And not just worrying about any one thing.  Oh no - I'm worrying about anything and everything.  Things in the past, things in the future that I have no control over... worrying about my kids, worrying about my marriage, worrying about my job, worrying about the price of tea in China.  You name it, I've probably worried about it recently.  It's really weird, but my spirit feels heavier this week somehow, which has probably caused all the worrying.  You would think that after coming off of a week to celebrate Christ's sacrifice and His resurrection, that my spirit would be soaring!  But I just feel weighted down, you know?  *sigh* 

OK, enough of the depressing stuff.  I know what Greg would say, "Well, just get over it and stop letting the enemy steal your joy!"  I know he's right; I'm just not as good at actually doing that sometimes.  No excuse, but there you go.  So let's talk about something cheerful, shall we?  Let's see...  it is in fact Friday.  Hallelujah!  I'm quite thankful for that, mainly because I'm hoping that with the end of this week, my malaise will lift and I'll be in my normal regular everyday run-of-the-mill mood again (which is generally a happy one). Hmmm... what else is going on?  Greg's mom (aka Moo) is visiting us this week, so again, you'd think I would have been in a wonderful mood all week.  She is a big help and the kids always enjoy her being here.  She and Grg took Noah fishing on Wednesday and he had a blast.  Then yesterday since it rained and since I had a ton of work to do, they played in the garage all day:  had a picnic, sang songs, filled bird feeders.  Noah even napped with her on the couch yesterday, which is HUGE for us.  Anna Grace is still being very clingy and fussy.  I think she's feeling better, but she's been in a bad mood this week, too.  She has her mama's temper, which is NOT a good thing.  She's napping now, though, and I'm supposed to be working and taking advantage of the break.  But I'm not - I'm typing on here.  For no apparent reason and really with no purpose.  Just rambling...  but sometimes rambling feels good.

The house isn't quiet today - Noah has the Backyardigans playing in the living room, and Moo & Greg are discussing horses and tractors and thorny bushes.  Yesterday was too quiet with Moo & Noah in the garage, and Anna at the daycare.  She enjoys getting all the attention from the ladies there and from the older kids.  Now, Noah is playing the guitar and just announced to the room in general, "I need a toothpick so I can play my guitar."  I think he's been upset for the last little bit because Greg told him he couldn't go play the "loud drums" (that's what he call the non-electronic ones that we have set up in the garage right now) since Anna's sleeping.  Now he's arguing with Greg about looking for his ornament guitar... Greg had absolutely no idea what he was talking about (a little red guitar-shaped Christmas ornament, obviously!).  Noah went outside to look for it on the back porch and apparently let a bug in the house when he came back in, which resulted in a brief discussion of bugs.  Oddly enough, this was broken up by the arrival of the bug man (an exterminator, and not some giant monster).

We're doing an old hymn this Sunday at Hope:  "Be Thou My Vision".  I'm looking forward to it.  Some of those old hymns have the most amazing words - but often we just fly right through them and don't even hear what we're singing.  "...Thou my best thought / by day or by night / waking or sleeping / Thy presence my light."  (I should remember that in the morning at 4:00 - it's hard to worry when you're communing with the Lord.)  "...Thou my great Father / I Thy true son / Thou in me dwelling / and I with Thee one."  Lord, I pray that You make these words more real to me today.  Help them not to be just empty phrases, but help me to really take hold of the truths behind them.  Forgive me for giving in to anxiety and irritability and general foolishness.  Thank You for the blessings of the week, especially those that I was too caught up in myself to notice.  Thank You that You never leave us or forsake us, that You're always here with me, even when I'm wallowing in self pity!  Thank You that not only is each day new, but each moment is, too, and I can choose to take my thoughts captive and to, in fact, do as Greg suggested - to get over it and reclaim the joy that comes from You. 

Thanks, dear reader, for putting up with my bad mood today.  Hopefully I'll have a "part 2" that's a little more lively later, but for now duty calls.  Greg just came in to tell me that he's not feeling good and is going to lay down.  Noah's begging to go to Chuck E. Cheese's now (egads!) and it's about time for little girl to get up from her nap.  Happy Friday y'all!  :)