It's finally Friday

For some reason, this has been an extremely tough week for me.  Don't really know why, and to be honest, not really sure what exactly I'm meaning by "extremely tough".  I just know that I feel tired.  Not just physically tired, but mentally and emotionally, too.  Again, I'm not sure why.  I mean, I'm sleeping at night and all that, but I have been waking up around 4:00 and just laying here for a while, worrying.  How silly is that??  And not just worrying about any one thing.  Oh no - I'm worrying about anything and everything.  Things in the past, things in the future that I have no control over... worrying about my kids, worrying about my marriage, worrying about my job, worrying about the price of tea in China.  You name it, I've probably worried about it recently.  It's really weird, but my spirit feels heavier this week somehow, which has probably caused all the worrying.  You would think that after coming off of a week to celebrate Christ's sacrifice and His resurrection, that my spirit would be soaring!  But I just feel weighted down, you know?  *sigh* 

OK, enough of the depressing stuff.  I know what Greg would say, "Well, just get over it and stop letting the enemy steal your joy!"  I know he's right; I'm just not as good at actually doing that sometimes.  No excuse, but there you go.  So let's talk about something cheerful, shall we?  Let's see...  it is in fact Friday.  Hallelujah!  I'm quite thankful for that, mainly because I'm hoping that with the end of this week, my malaise will lift and I'll be in my normal regular everyday run-of-the-mill mood again (which is generally a happy one). Hmmm... what else is going on?  Greg's mom (aka Moo) is visiting us this week, so again, you'd think I would have been in a wonderful mood all week.  She is a big help and the kids always enjoy her being here.  She and Grg took Noah fishing on Wednesday and he had a blast.  Then yesterday since it rained and since I had a ton of work to do, they played in the garage all day:  had a picnic, sang songs, filled bird feeders.  Noah even napped with her on the couch yesterday, which is HUGE for us.  Anna Grace is still being very clingy and fussy.  I think she's feeling better, but she's been in a bad mood this week, too.  She has her mama's temper, which is NOT a good thing.  She's napping now, though, and I'm supposed to be working and taking advantage of the break.  But I'm not - I'm typing on here.  For no apparent reason and really with no purpose.  Just rambling...  but sometimes rambling feels good.

The house isn't quiet today - Noah has the Backyardigans playing in the living room, and Moo & Greg are discussing horses and tractors and thorny bushes.  Yesterday was too quiet with Moo & Noah in the garage, and Anna at the daycare.  She enjoys getting all the attention from the ladies there and from the older kids.  Now, Noah is playing the guitar and just announced to the room in general, "I need a toothpick so I can play my guitar."  I think he's been upset for the last little bit because Greg told him he couldn't go play the "loud drums" (that's what he call the non-electronic ones that we have set up in the garage right now) since Anna's sleeping.  Now he's arguing with Greg about looking for his ornament guitar... Greg had absolutely no idea what he was talking about (a little red guitar-shaped Christmas ornament, obviously!).  Noah went outside to look for it on the back porch and apparently let a bug in the house when he came back in, which resulted in a brief discussion of bugs.  Oddly enough, this was broken up by the arrival of the bug man (an exterminator, and not some giant monster).

We're doing an old hymn this Sunday at Hope:  "Be Thou My Vision".  I'm looking forward to it.  Some of those old hymns have the most amazing words - but often we just fly right through them and don't even hear what we're singing.  "...Thou my best thought / by day or by night / waking or sleeping / Thy presence my light."  (I should remember that in the morning at 4:00 - it's hard to worry when you're communing with the Lord.)  "...Thou my great Father / I Thy true son / Thou in me dwelling / and I with Thee one."  Lord, I pray that You make these words more real to me today.  Help them not to be just empty phrases, but help me to really take hold of the truths behind them.  Forgive me for giving in to anxiety and irritability and general foolishness.  Thank You for the blessings of the week, especially those that I was too caught up in myself to notice.  Thank You that You never leave us or forsake us, that You're always here with me, even when I'm wallowing in self pity!  Thank You that not only is each day new, but each moment is, too, and I can choose to take my thoughts captive and to, in fact, do as Greg suggested - to get over it and reclaim the joy that comes from You. 

Thanks, dear reader, for putting up with my bad mood today.  Hopefully I'll have a "part 2" that's a little more lively later, but for now duty calls.  Greg just came in to tell me that he's not feeling good and is going to lay down.  Noah's begging to go to Chuck E. Cheese's now (egads!) and it's about time for little girl to get up from her nap.  Happy Friday y'all!  :)