Thoughts on Temptation & God's Grace

Today, I listened to a "sermon" from last week's 7-22 meeting. 7-22 is a Singles Bible Study that meets at Northpoint Community Church in Atlanta. "Singles Bible Study" sounds rather safe and kind of trite, but this is anything but. It's nondenominational and according to their website (www.722.org) people from over 300 churches attend. Two weeks ago was my first time attending (although I've had it on my list of things to do for months now). At first as I was walking in from my car, I thought to myself, "You just need to get back in the car right now! You are entirely too old to be here!" While I don't consider myself old (I turn 35 next Saturday), the folks streaming into the building around me all looked about 12 years old. There were a lot of college students, twenty-somethings, and they all seemed to travel in packs. How intimidating is that to a shy "old" person? At any rate, I'm so glad I didn't drive away! I found a seat in the very back row of the bottom center section (I'm a back pew kind of girl - probably a result of my Baptist upbringing) and people-watched until it was time to start. The main draw for me was the worship: I knew I would totally dig the music (geesh - that sounded old, too!) and I was NOT disappointed. From the beginning of the multimedia presentation that preceded the actual start of the music until the last note faded away and the house lights came up, I was hooked. The music rocked and the energy in the place was phenomenal! Thousands of young people (of all ages) praising God and worshipping and crying out to the Lord? Wow! What an awesome time. The guest speaker was a guy named Erwin McManus that night and he spoke on "Ambition" - how it's not a bad thing unless preceded with the adjective "selfish". But then last week I didn't get to go, which bummed me out because they were starting a series entitled simply, "pure". Well, as a single individual living in the year 2005, I was fairly convinced that I needed to hear that message! And knowing myself like I do certainly strengthened that conviction. His object lesson was really cool (check it out on their website - it's neat) and the main point I came away with was that God definitely does not see us as we see ourselves. If you're one of His children and if you've made Him your Lord and Savior, then He's looking at you through the blood of Jesus... your sins are made white as snow and He sees your account as paid in full. We usually focus on our sin and all the things that separate us from His love, but He's focusing on how He created us in His image and how much He loves us and longs for us to turn to Him fully. He passionately pursues each of us with a relentless spirit that yearns to commune with His children. That theme has been running through my life for the last few weeks. The whole idea that God desires our passion - He wants us to run to Him with our entire being. He wants to meet our needs. He wants to be the object of our desires. He wants to love us with an everlasting love that will totally blow our socks off, if we'll only let Him. If we'll only turn and step into His waiting arms. Wish I could get that in my brain and in my heart! Wish I could let that permeate my being instead of just letting it flit in one ear and out the other. I read it/hear it, think "wow - that's cool" and then walk away and live like it were a lie, or like I'd never even heard it before. I forget that God loves me so much! Forget that I'm part of His bride. I allow all the pressures of the world to float up and obscure my focus, allow them to drag my gaze from the Holy One down to the murkiness of life in the 21st century.

Now that I've typed one insanely long paragraph with no real rhyme or reason to it, I'm thinking good grief - I guess that's how I think! No rhyme or reason, no organized bullet lists, no 3 point outline. Just one long mass of uncertainties that pretty much streams out, no matter what the outlet is - whether its typing in a journal/blog or opening my mouth (and inserting my foot more often than not).

How about I close this entirely too long 2nd post with a little prayer? God, thank You for this day with all its blessings. Thank you for my life and for all the gazillion second chances You give me as your child. Thank you for pursuing me so passionately, Lord. Ravish me with your presence today and everyday. Remind me that You love me. You died on the cross for me. And for everyone else in the world, too. Yes, yes, I know. But still - I know that You know me personally and yet somehow You love me still. How cool is that! You don't see the tally sheet of mistakes and failures that I keep on myself. Yes, you hate sin more than anyone but you don't kick me when I'm down. You don't berate me and pile on lecture after lecture or put me in a corner with a dunce cap on. Yes, you let me know when I've missed it and messed up - those little nudges of conscience that come from You - but yet you look past all that and love me in an amazing way and with a totally amazing love. The love of a Father for his daughter. Abba, Father. I love you.